Remembering Janet

My sister, Janet, passed away on Wednesday, September 30, 2026. She was the ultimate big sister, always caring, always responsible.

Although she lived three states away, Janet routinely made time to come see Mom and Mom's sister, Aunt Louise in Texas.

She would come over to my house across the street for a brief respite during her visit. We'd debrief over a glass of wine and maybe watch a favorite movie, like Overboard, the original one. 

Janet was a devout Christian, a mom, a sister, a daughter, a wife, a teacher, a seamstress, a quilter, a photographer, a baker, a great cook. She loved Key West and her beloved high school there where she joined the drama team and performed in plays. 

1939 Bantam Roadster

She drove the family's 1939 Bantam Roadster to school.  It was rumored to have belonged to Mrs. Ernest Hemmingway and was stored for decades, undriven, in a garage before our dad restored it and painted it her school colors. Back then it was red and white.

Janet was a stage 4 breast cancer survivor who'd been given a 6 month life expectancy in 1999. Thankfully, the Lord had better plans for her and she lived 27 more years.

1999

1999 was a tough year for her. She flew here to Dallas and then we flew together to M.D. Anderson Cancer Center for a second opinion. We ran out of gas on the way to the airport, yet, still made our flight in time. Despite the circumstances and the poor prognosis, that trip was a special time shared with my sister. 

2013 March, Janet and her husband came to visit our mother in Texas.

2015 Mom's 90th

She joined the celebration of Mom's 90th birthday in 2015.My brother had a picture book made of the event to help Mom remember her family members' names. 

Later, at a much earlier age than our mother, Janet would rely on a picture book her daughter made to help remember family names and faces.

Janet with her VW bug in the mid 1960s.

She had to grow up early to help care for her younger brother and her little sister. During my mother's convalescence after a burn injury, she commanded the household in my Dad's absence while he was away on sea duty. She cooked our meals, washed and ironed clothes, performed and assigned chores to her younger siblings and kept the house running ship shape.

Janet had a whimsical side, full of humor and joy. She loved animals, particularly her twin cats, Simon and Schuster. When Aunt Louise was no longer able to care for her cat, Sugar, Janet transported him to South Carolina and cared for him the rest of his life.

There's so much more to say but words aren't enough. I miss you, sister. 

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Gift Ideas for Seniors and Nursing Home Residents

Choosing a gift for a nursing home resident can seem difficult, but these ideas are sure to please your loved one.

If you ask your senior what they want for a birthday or holiday, they'll likely tell you they have everything they need. But do they? 

What your loved one wants most is you spending time with them. Whether you're sharing a meal or clipping their nails, your presence reassures them that they are valued.

If you're not able to visit for whatever reason, consider these gifts that my family members appreciated when they lived in a skilled nursing home. 

Many facilities offer a guest meal for visitors. Sitting and sharing over a meal is true quality time. If guest meals aren't available where your relative lives, you can always bring a bag lunch or a takeout meal. Ask your senior what they might like from their favorite place.

These are some of the top 10 requested gifts:

1. Cotton socks, slippers, sweat suits, and clothing that's easy to get on and off. Avoid zippers and buttons that might be hard to unfasten.
2. Homemade cakes, cookies, candy, individual puddings, Ensure or Boost, sugar-free food items or fast-food favorites like milkshakes.
3. Gift certificates for the hair salon at the facility. Clean hair lifts the spirit.
4. Audio and video recordings of their favorite songs, movies, and TV shows.
5. Large print books, adult coloring books, or audio books.
6. Colored pencils, paint-by-number kits, yarn and craft supplies.
7. Office supplies like small tablets and ballpoint pens.
8. Board games like Scrabble, dominoes, jigsaw puzzles and crossword puzzle books.
9. Nail clippers and emery boards.
10. Bird feeders and seed to refill them.

Limited funds? Here are some cost free activities that you can do.

• Offer to comb or style your senior's hair.
• Give a hand or foot massage.
• Trim your senior's fingernails.
• Write a letter on their behalf. Stamp, address, and mail the letter.
• Read them a story.
• Sing their favorite song.
• Play a game together like Dominoes or card games. Work a puzzle together.
• Attend an activities session with the group.
• Join in on the stretching exercises.

Edible gifts like homemade cookies, cakes, candy, and pies are things that most residents enjoy getting. If your senior is on a restricted diet, you can customize your holiday baking to include sugar-free gifts.

If you're not a seasoned baker, choose other edible gifts like individual pudding cups, packages of peaches or pears, crackers with peanut butter or cheese, juice boxes, or wrapped candies that are easy to open.

Another welcome activity at any skilled nursing facility is the music from volunteers who perform for the residents. Sometimes they like to sing along, wave their arms, clap to the music,  nod their heads, or even get up and dance.

Personal care Items are often requested. Keep in mind that some people have allergies, so choose softly scented cologne, air fresheners, moisturizers, hand lotion, and disposable hand wipes.

Remember that caps and lids may be difficult to open. As my mother grot older, packaging became more difficult for her to manage. Items with pump dispensers or easy to open containers are a good choice.

You might need to open the box of tissues and start the first one out of the box. Tasks that are simple to youthful hands can become a nightmare for a senior who struggles with arthritis.

Hair Salon Gift Certificates

Most nursing home residents would enjoy a little pampering. A beauty salon certificate for services by the on-site cosmetologist is a blessing. Or, you can ask to use the beauty shop and give your senior a nice shampoo and gentle scalp massage. If neither of those options is available, arrange to take your loved one to a salon nearby.

Something to Keep their Mind Active

What do seniors do with their time? Many seniors enjoy looking outside. My 95-year-old aunt likes watching the birds that come and go outside her window. A bird identification book helps her know which kind of birds land on the feeder. Volunteers will usually refill the bird feeder as long as we provide the seed. 

Visiting Pets Associations

One of the best ways to provide comfort and a touch of home is to invite the Visiting Dog's Association to visit your family members. It is amazing to watch the expressions of joy when seniors make contact with a well-trained, friendly canine. Some groups bring horses to meet the residents.

Make sure to find out which residents are allergic to animals and make arrangements for medication or for them to be in another area of the building.

Volunteer to Serve As A Patient Advocate

Most facilities allow and encourage family members to attend resident wellness conferences. At these meetings, family members and patients discuss medication issues and the care your loved one is receiving. It can also bring out issues that may need attention either from the staff or from family members.

Your presence helps your loved one advocate for themselves and gives them confidence to speak out that otherwise might be lacking.

Gifts For All Occasions

It doesn't have to be a special occasion to bring a gift to your favorite senior. Whether it is a purchased present or a gift of your time and effort, your loved one will treasure these small tokens of your affection.